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Help !! I am Not Sure my First Son Belongs to my Husband

Hello Laila,

Please this is highly confidential and i am trusting you with my life to keep my identity including my email secret. I got married 2007 while i was in 3rd year at EBSU, presco campus.


The thing is that i had a school relationship at that time and I was in that relationship for almost 2 years before my hubby came into the picture. I lost count of how things went down but when i found out that i was pregnant in my 2nd semester final year, I honestly didnt know who got me pregnant because at that point i was mistakenly sleeping with both my husband who is based in another state and my school boyfriend. I have broken up with the guy immediately i got married but you know how these things are. My school boyfriend has been with me for years before i met my hubby its just that my hubby was ready and my school guy was still a mere 22 year old boy then.

After i told him i was getting married, he lost his mind and started losing weight. he begged me to help him cushion the effect of the heart break by not shutting him off completely from my life. He would come by and eat and leave because while we were dating, i had been the one cooking for both of us. I set boundaries for him and tried very to make him leave but he kept coming back to me. I was scared because my husband has once visited me in school without pre informing me so i had to stop my school guy from ever spending the night in my house any more.

There was this big Star brewery music show that Eedris Abdulkareem come to do at the women development center Abakaliki that period and my school guy asked me to go with him. We got there and the free beer and youthful hormones got the better of me. we ended up making love raw that night and that was it.

My next cycle didnt flow and i have also been making love with my husband on weekends when he comes visiting.

At that point, i didnt even remember the night with my ex or the possibility of getting pregnant. I was just happy that i was pregnant for my husband and my hubby was over joyed too.

My joy was however cut short when i delivered and my son looked every bit like my school boyfriend. my saving grace was that the boy instead of being light skinned was dark skinned like my husband. The truth is that I dont even know who the real father is but I have lived with this secret for so long.

My dilemma now is that my hubby’s elder sister’s husband that is based in Canada got appointed into one deep sea exploration company in Alaska and has well paying employment slots to fill.

They managed to convince my hubby to move his family over to Canada so we can take the slots and better our lives.

I heard that DNA is a must when moving a family abroad and I dont know what to do. The thing is that the baby may be my husbands own but i am worried and dont want to take chances at breaking my sweat of almost 12 years.

Please how do I talk him out of this Canada thing. I am deeply in a mess.  You are the first soul I am sharing this with. please help me contact of any staff within the Canadian embassy who can help me.

9 Comments

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  1. What you have hidden for twelve years is about to be unearthed by nature. That saying nothing is hidden under the sun is true and you are about to learn. I pray God helps you though because something in me thinks u knew all along that you were pregnant for your lover. You thought you had gotten away with it but you see God is smatter if you escape this one it might be temporary and sooner another wind will still blow.

  2. do the DNA test on him first b4 ur hubby, so that u will know ur stand on what next to do when the result comes out that ur son isn’t ur husbands child. start from there first so u can’t put unnecessary fear in u. Who knows it might even be ur husbands child but guilt won’t let u be. first thing first b4 concluding.

  3. Paternity test is done on both father and child. There centres were DNA tests are done. I don’t know where you are staying. Pathcare laboratories do DNA tests . You can Google that. Find out what sample they take to do the DNA test.eg saliva, or blood. You can just suggest that you guys should do these tests here in Nigeria before you do them in Canada. I know Canada also do chest x-ray for pulmonary tuberculosis and HIV. You can discuss with the laboratory person so that while taking sample for the other tests they can also take sample for the DNA test without his knowledge. But then problem is if the results shows that he is not the father of the child. Just do a research on the laboratories that do DNA test in your locality first and then discuss with them how to go about it. Good luck to you.

  4. Another easy way but not a reliable way is to find out the blood group of your ex boy friend, your hubby blood group, your son and your own blood group. Now there are 4 blood groups. A, AB,B and O. If you are blood group A and your husband is O then your children will have blood group betwèen A and O. It means that that your son’s blood group can either be A or O. I don’t know if you understand me? If your son has a blood group B which means your husband is not the father of that child. Which means your ex boyfriend blood group is B. You can also try that with the genotype. There are 3 main genotypes AA, AS, and SS . There others like SC etc but the major ones are the 3 i mentioned. Now just like the blood group find out the genotypes of the 4 of you. If you are AA and your husband is AA and your son is AS then he is not the father if that child . It means that your ex boy friend is AS.Just like i earlier said the blood group method /genotype is not a reliable method. The most accurate is the paternity DNA test. Is 99.9% accurate. A swab stick is used to collect buccal cells from the inner mouth of both the father and the child. I know is quite difficult but just give it a shot. Go to a lab that carry out the test and see how you will go about it. Canada is a good place to raise a family and there are lots of opportunities there. You can’t just blow your chances of going to canada because of fear of who the father of your child is. Just pray over it and let God guide you. I hope this will help. Good luck.

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